- I love you a million. But I love mummy and daddy and friend-across-the-road giant.
- So do you love me giant?
- No.
- Tell me the truth.
- I love you seven. That's the truth.
- But do you love me infinity? I love you infinity.
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Somehow, a dichotomy has been established in our house between cool and pretty. Cool things are boy things and pretty things are girl things. Every time I hear some variation on this being trotted out, I tell them "cool can be pretty" and "pretty can be cool" and "nothing is just for boys or just for girls" and I hope some day it makes it through and out the other side by osmosis because at the moment they are rigid in their definitions.
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And I want to tell my daughter something:
Pretty is fine, but you don't need to be pretty*.
I want you to be strong, I want you to be heard. I want you to stand up for yourself and for others. Polite is good, consideration is vital; but I want you to above all keep yourself safe and sane, which means demanding the respect that is due to you and no less, as a member of the human race and as a woman.
- First, use common sense. You're smart. Act smart.
- Second, listen to your gut. Follow your spidey sense, never discredit a "feeling".
- Third, it's never too late to make a change for the better.
*Inspired by this blog post I happened upon recently, which quotes (but doesn't really attribute) a famous thing Diana Vreeland once said. And I have no idea who she was, but she seems cool.
It's funny ... I try not to use the word "pretty" with my daughter because it seems so impermanent, and so related to what she wears or how she has her hair ... I whisper in her ear that she's beautiful. ALL the time. When she wakes up in the morning with bed head. When she's wearing sweats. Reading. Sporting a tutu.
ReplyDeleteIt's tricky, raising daughters, I think. But also very, very cool. :)
Oh, I love this post. I'm always trying to make sure I praise all aspects of my childrens' development instead of focusing on their characteristics that have nothing to do with development because I think they get enough of that from other people who mightn't know how well they can balance or how clever they are to want to watch a DVD with a blanket and a bowl of cereal when it's lashing outside. Every person, man or woman, adult & child could do with following this advice but I love "use common sense. You're smart. Act smart."
ReplyDeleteThis. is. gorgeous.
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