Unshopping

Now is the time on Sprockets when we blog...

That is, the children are wending their way to sleep and I am off duty, so I'd better come up with the goods. Whatever they might be.

Earlier I tried to tempt Dash to do his homework, or at least think about his homework. I called out to him from the kitchen as I figured out something to make plain pasta and chicken a little more grown-up for me and B. "I'm not on the menu," he replied.

I had to laugh. I'm not sure I'm ready for such a smart-arse kid, but it beats yelling, I suppose.

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I don't usually go in for reverse shopping, (as I believe Marian Keyes called it, though maybe she's not the only one), but this morning I got a great sense of satisfaction and freedom out of returning two items I'd bought and regretted.

The first were the red jeans I got at the start of the month. I tried and tried, I really did. I got things to go with them, which I still like and will wear with other things. I readjusted my sensibilities and recalibrated my whatsits and learned to love my hips even when they weren't balanced by big wedges of fabric flapping comfortingly round my ankles (and soaking up the rain from the ground at every wintery opportunity). I thought I could make them work. I was sure the answer lay in the footwear.

Last week I got a lead on a pair of boots. On Sunday, I bought them. They were on sale, and I had a coupon, and they looked exactly like the boots I needed to go with the jeans. They were even comfortable, which is quite a miracle where my feet are concerned. It was meant to be. I was delighted.

Then I came home and put on the jeans and the boots. (No, I hadn't worn the jeans to go shopping. What sort of sensible person do you take me for? For one thing, I couldn't because I didn't have the right boots to... oh, yeah.) And I was underwhelmed. In fact, I was pretty sure that this wasn't even just not a great look, this was a downright undesireable look. I looked kind of, well, I have to say, skanky. And not in a good way. Not in a sexy way. Just in a "She shouldn't have worn that" way.

So I came to the conclusion that if you have to try so hard to make something look right, it's not going to. The jeans were an unflattering fit to begin with, but just because they were less unflattering than some others I have tried, and because I loved the colour, and they were a good price, I made an impulse buy. Usually, my MO is to spot something I like, mull it over, decide I wanted it after all, go back and find it's left the shop, and spend the next three months searching in vain for something similar. When you find something that's right, you should buy it, but I obviously misinterpreted "right" in this case.

So this morning I brought back the jeans and the boots. (Amazingly, I was able to locate the receipt for the jeans.) The nice ladies gave me my money back and I continued on my way with a feeling of freedom and lightness heretofore known only in tampon ads.

The world is my oyster! I can start again! I have fifty-two dollars (woohoo!) back in my wallet and some other poor mug can buy those jeans, and those boots, and I wish them the best with them. They'll probably know better than to try to wear them together.

So I still don't know what I'm wearing for Christmas, but I think I'll be looking more like me in whatever it turns out to be.