She said that the news at lunchtime today was all about lesbian weddings in Ireland.
"Where were all the lesbians when I was growing up?" she asked me. "None of the girls at school were, or in the bank [where she worked before she got married], or on the road where I lived. Where did they all come from?"
"Well, they weren't invented in the last five years, Mother. They've always been around. People just didn't talk about it in those days."
"But I don't understand what God was thinking about. Why did he make them?"
I decided not to tell her that I can't answer that because I tripped and fell into a vat of atheism.
"Maybe he just likes variety."