Rules for co-sleeping*

*if you are under six and want me to continue sleeping with you, at least some of the time; rules for Daddy are somewhat different.**

1. Do not kick off the covers. I am cold. I need that duvet. Especially, do not lie on half the duvet and kick off the rest, so there's nothing at all left for me.  
2. Do not stick your foot down my pyjama bottoms.
3. Do not have sharp, pointy toenails.
4. Do not demand a waffle at 3am.
5. Do not barf. Ever.
6. Do not touch the other nipple. At all.
7. Do not hog the bed so that the smaller person takes up 80% of the space, leaving me to wake up perched on one shoulder, wedged against the wall, with my head on your unicorn pillow pet.

Thank you,
the Management

**Actually, come to think of it, rules for Daddy are mostly the same, except perhaps for number six. Ahem.