Things I will do with my seven-and-a-half hours of free time every week starting next Tuesday, not that I'm counting down or anything.

Mabel starts school next week. From 9 to 11.30 on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, she will be entertained by and entertaining the teachers, co-opping parents, and her classmates; slicing play-doh pizza, painting masterpieces, splashing at the water table, and of course minding the babies. From time to time, I muse on what I will do with the few minutes of extra time I'll have to myself with both children out of the house. And by muse, I mean plan ferociously and count the minutes.

Of course, what I'll actually do is run around like a headless chicken because I can't light on just one thing, and I don't have time to really do anything much. But there are plenty of things I'd like to do.

1. Go to Target. Trawl the aisles slowly, at leisure, without having to recapture an escape artist every five seconds, without having to bribe anyone with chocolate milk at Starbucks afterwards, without buying anyone a pair of conciliatory Hello Kitty sunglasses because it's really hard to visit the toy aisles and choose a birthday present for a friend when you're not getting anything yourself. Try not to spend too much.

2. Go to the outlet mall. Actually try things on. Buy clothes for me, not for the kids. Try not to spend too much.

3. Go to Old Navy, Marshalls, or Ross, and spend ages perusing the sale racks. Hardly spend anything at all, because it's all cheap crap anyway.

4. Clean the house. Hah. Right.

5. Do the ironing. The downside to line-drying like a nice environmentally friendly tree-hugger is that some days I really do need to bust out the iron if I don't want to look like I slept in my clothes. And I actually like ironing - it's soothing, and satisfying, and I can listen to the radio at the same time. Oooh.

6. Listen to the radio. Any time I have tried to listen to music for the past five years, it's been instantly drowned out by the cacophony of my children demanding something else, or not that, or the tv, or attempting fratricide.

7. Read a good book.

8. Write a good book. That would be nice. In my dreams.

9. But more realistically, blog, so that I don't have to do it in the evening.

10. And maybe, just maybe, write a short story. Or finish that one I started.

11. On a more practical note, go to the supermarket without having to take a TV cart and pass out bagels as soon as we get to the bakery section and defuse arguments about who sits on the side with the steering wheel and who put whose shoes on the TV screen. I could even come home with all the ingredients for more than two meals, rather than just half the ingredients for one and a half meals.

12. Or I could just plan the meals at home, and do the shopping later with a properly organised list. But I like to be inspired by what I see in the store, not sit at home waiting for inspiration to strike.

13. Bake a ton of muffins. Eat them in peace with a nice cup of tea.

14. You know, I'm going to do that right now. If naptime lasts long enough. What are the chances? Tell you what, I'll save vital time by not proofing this.

15. Oh, there was meant to be something about getting some freelance editing work and earning a crust of my own. I'm sure I'll get round to that at some point. But if I'm busy working, when would I get to go shopping?