Safekeeping

You know, don't you, that when you curl away down to the ground to hide your crying, you hold my heart in your hands? I might be too busy picking you up and dusting you down, running over damage-limitation and mollification strategies, being exasperated or impatient or downright annoyed; too busy right then to stop and let myself feel my heart being squeezed, to let the tears prickle behind my own eyes;  but understand, please, that it happens.

You were surprised, last week, to hear that when I leave you at school crying in the mornings, it makes me sad too. That I don't like to do it, that I want you to be happy. How could you not know?

You, and your sister, and your father; the three of you whom I have made my family: I chose you, and grew you, and you chose me and teach me every day, and you are the repository of my heart.