Forward motion

Monkey's parent-teacher conference was this morning. I abandoned the kids at a handily situated playgroup (in the charge of all the moms in general and one in particular) and ran up the path to the school. Then I lurked selfconsciously in the corridor peering through the window at intervals and trying to think charitable thoughts while the mother ahead of me ran over time by five minutes. Maybe they were running late, or maybe her kid just has lots of Issues.

Anyway, his teachers are perfectly happy with him. He needs to work on putting up his hand and waiting to be asked before volunteering information. (Yes. I can see that. Even before I leave in the mornings, when they go to sit down for circle time, he's bouncing up in the teacher's face informing her of something or other. He likes to sit right up at the front. The idea of shaming someone for "licking up" to the teacher clearly hasn't got to the four-year-old set yet, for which I am grateful.) He needs to work on resolving conflicts by himself. (Aha. I wonder whether they noted that any member of his class was particularly good at solving conflicts without help.) He needs to work on fine motor skills like writing his name and using scissors - but he's no further behind with those things than any of the other boys. (I'm the one who said "boys" when I asked about that. The teachers admitted that probably the girls are better at that stuff.) And it would be nice if he said "No, thank you" instead of "I don't like that," when refusing food. Everything else is fine.

I asked the teachers if they'd ever thought that perhaps his food issues were part of a bigger whole; mentioned the words "sensitivities" and "autism spectrum" and his cousin who has Aspergers. They said they'd never considered that at all. He interacts perfectly normally with adults and his classmates, and there were no red flags raised by anything. They admitted that yes, he is probably the most picky child they've ever had; but hey, it's nice to be remembered for something.

So I'm pretty happy about that. I had been increasingly thinking that he's coming out of this phase, and that - food issues excepted - that's really all it was. We were in two unfamiliar situations this week - one party with lots of strangers and one playgroup at a new house - and he was only normally shy at the party, and not at all at the playgroup. The word "cripplingly" did not cross my mind.

He even took a bite of a strawberry the other day. An honest-to-God bite. I know it sounds absurd, but this child has never ever done that before. The most I could get him to do was stick out his tongue and touch it to a strawberry. He hasn't even had a strawberry-inclusive smoothie for a long long time. But he came to me and said he'd like to try one, and he did, and chewed it and swallowed it and said he'd do it again the next day. The next day he had a smaller bite, but still a bite. Today he didn't have any and now his sister has eaten all the strawberries, but it's a start.